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Friday, December 14, 2007
In This Issue
Editor’s Scribbles
Modern Living
Take The Stress Out Of Buying a Gift
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Home & Family
Seven Steps to Holiday Balance
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Whoa, I’m really tired today. After a two-hour workout this morning, I got a last-minute invitation to lunch which involves driving clear across town to a 6-star hotel.
When we got there, the restaurant was full and we didn’t have reservations. The kids were sorely disappointed. We had to settle for Carls’ Jr. Bummer! LOL
Now we’re home for an hour and then going into the city for dinner and (hopefully) to catch some street performances. Busy day.
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Women Please... Help the poor bewildered sap in your life.
It's at this time of year, though there are other occasions, such as birthdays, when I despair of my gender! My wife and I have a retail shop and on line store and through them I have witnessed a truly pitiful situation. With Christmas once more bearing down on us I felt it was time to speak out.
For The Girls: When window shopping or browsing through a store never assume that he is paying attention to the subtle hints that you are dropping. He has no idea of your taste and little interest just so long as you always look great, which of course you do.
The best that you can hope for is that he will turn up at the shop fifteen minutes before closing, the day before the gift is required. By which time the item that you pointed out three weeks ago has already sold through or is simply no longer in the position it was when you saw it.
Tip (1): Take charge (as usual). Whether on line or in store always use the wish list technique.
Tip (2): An on line wish list is great, but don't just email it to him, print it and put it in his hand!
Tip (3): The same applies in a shop. We use printed wish lists and help customers fill in the relevant manufacturer, model number and colour etc. Again put it in his hand.
Tip (4): When compiling the list always give him a choice so that he still feels that there is an element of surprise when you unwrap it. But do not give him to many options this will only lead to confusion for him and probably disappointment for you.
Now you need to be really clever. If he has been in your life for a year or so you will already be getting a feel for how tight he is. Some men think that it really doesn't matter what they get so long as they have thrown as much money at it as they can. Others will always go for the cheapest option rationalizing that you will be impressed with his fiscal control. Yeah...Right!
You know your man.
For those of you just starting out I apologize this will only be of limited use. Console yourselves with the thought that this will be a very useful exercise to determine which category your sap fits in.
Tip (5): Bearing this in mind pitch the item you really want in the position on the wish list that is most suitable for your man type. For instance right at the top with a selection of cheaper models for the big spender. Conversely, at the bottom of an outrageously expensive list, for the financially retentive.
Tip (6): Once the list is in his possession do not assume that is it. There is still work to be done.
Tip (7): Do not keep on about those beautiful handbags, or whatever, that you have seen or the list. He will simply take it as nagging and switch off.
Tip (8): Do try subtle hints such as. When he asks you if he can put his huge bunch of keys, his wallet or any of his junk that you often end up lugging around in your bag for him, simply decline. Pointing out that it is now completely distorted from its original shape and the lining is torn and full of holes as a result of having obliged him in the past.
Tip (9): If this does not have the desired affect, make sure the handle comes of at suitably embarrassing moment such as at the supermarket check out. This will have the best effect if he has been trudging around pushing the basket and showing no interest other than at the beer isle. All he wants to do is get out of there.
Tip (10): Always ensure the bag is open at the time so that as much of the contents spill out as possible. This can be enhanced by prior loading with lots of loose change and as many tampons as you can muster.
If all this fails to have the desired effect then I think you have done all that can be reasonably expected.
Trade him in for a new model!
For The Boys: There are a shroud and extremely rare breed of chaps that do take a proactive approach but they are as rare as rocking horse! They are always spoken for and prized so highly it has been known for them to be fought over.
In the unlikely event that some poor sap has read this far I do have a few pointers for you that will result in you joining this elite band of brothers.
Tip (1): When approaching the shop door try not to see the threshold as an insurmountable hurdle. Looking startled and muttering, "I'll wait here for you", will only wind her up. Get in there, it really won't hurt!
Tip (2): Pay attention and make notes if necessary. This may be a huge effort at the time but believe me it will pay off.
Tip (3): Take an active interest and get involved in conversation with constructive and informed comment. Again, a massive commitment, but consider for a moment. Time and effort expended now will result in decisions being arrived at harmoniously resulting in the conclusion of the shopping trip in record time. No wandering aimlessly from shop to shop, ending up having a row and going home empty handed, only to have to go through it all again the next week.
Tip (4): Get back to the store as soon as possible and make that purchase. Time is most certainly of the essence.
Tip (5): Do not under any circumstances leave your purchase until 3pm on Christmas Eve. If you do the most likely outcome will be that the item you were after has sold through never to be repeated. At this point a panic buy always takes place. This will only compound the mess that you have got into.
Tip (6): Unless you are actively seeking a divorce, Never, Never, Never, return home with the entire bucket of flower sprays in cellophane that you picked up from the garage whilst filling up with petrol. No matter how big the arm full, this will be regarded in a similar light as a letter from your solicitor instigating divorce proceedings.
Any suggested additions to this list of tips gratefully received
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About the author:
Keith Lovejoy spent 30 years as a saddler and harness maker before opening a retail shop with his wife selling womens hand bags and accessories.
After just two and a half years of trading a devastating fire destroyed the business. It took almost a year to reinstate the shop, but from June 2007 trading resumed and in addition to the shop a new online store was launched at lovejoys-ltd.co.uk
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Home & Family
Seven Steps to Holiday Balance
by Grace Durfee
Do you believe "holiday balance" is a pipe dream or a possibility? If decorating, shopping, baking, and holiday preparations now eat up every spare moment, balance may seem elusive, something to save for your New Year's wish list. I believe it is not only possible to enjoy balance during December, but it's an essential ingredient in a happy holiday.
The secret, as perfectly demonstrated by a circus tightrope walker, is to make small shifts and slight adjustments when necessary. This time of year, it may take more frequent adjustments to maintain balance. Here are seven steps to help keep you on your high wire.
1. Make a list and check it twice.
Feeling preoccupied by the long list of to-do's vying for attention in your brain? Committing the list to paper can help you to focus better on the here-and-now. Write down all the things you plan to do between now and New Year's.
Include things like shopping (specify whom you need to buy for and what you plan to give), wrapping, mailing gifts, sending cards, visits, travel, baking, entertaining, decorating, and attending parties, church services, school and community activities. Now go back over your list with a discerning eye, asking:
* What activities are most important?
* What are you eager to do?
* What activities do you dread?
* Where could you relax certain expectations?
* How could you simplify holiday preparations?
This year, for example, I plan to: make only one or two batches of cookies, and I'll buy others from bake sales and church bazaars. I'll also do more on-line shopping and will print address labels instead of hand addressing holiday cards. (No one can read my handwriting anyway!)
2. Focus on meaningful traditions.
Look at your list and identify the traditions that have meaning for you. Holiday preparations are often dictated by what we've done in the past or what our parents did when we were growing up.
* What treasured traditions are an important part of your holiday?
* What would you like to let go of?
* What new traditions would you like to create?
Candlelight, music, religious services, traditional stories, and special meals can reconnect us to the spirit of the season. Keep what's meaningful for you in your holiday plans and curtail what isn't.
3. Take care of yourself.
Most of us know what we need to do to keep ourselves at our best. There's a certain minimum requirement of exercise, natural light, healthy food, and rest that our bodies crave. This is an important time to honor those needs.
Colds and flu tend to peak after the holidays, in part because colder weather keeps us indoors where we are exposed to more germs, but also because we are more susceptible to illness when we are run down. Be especially gentle with yourself if the holidays are a sad time for you and if you are still healing from a recent loss.
4. Keep the joy in your heart.
Have you ever tried to write all your holiday cards in one sitting? If so, you probably ended up with a horrible case of writer's cramp and felt like Scrooge himself. Pace yourself so you don't hit the wall.
Imagine that you have an internal Joy-o-meter that automatically triggers a cut-off switch as soon as you stop having fun. The only way you can resume your activity is by finding a way to make it enjoyable again, perhaps by listening to some favorite music, or enlisting a helper. Or take a break and come back later, after you've eaten or rested.
5. Balance consumption with charity.
There was a tremendous outpouring of donations to help those who suffered in the aftermath of September 11 and hurricane Katrina. It's been heartwarming to see how we've rallied to take care of those who have been personally affected by these tragedies. During the colder months it's more important than ever for the haves to share with the have-nots.
* How well do your checkbook entries reflect your personal values?
* How would you like to support those who are less fortunate?
If you'd like to do more, consider making a gift donation in someone's name, dropping off canned or packaged goods to a local food pantry, volunteering at a soup kitchen, donating outgrown outerwear, and/or writing a tax-deductible check to your favorite charity.
6. Indulge moderately.
When faced with tempting treats, bountiful banquets, and free flowing spirits, it takes ironclad willpower to say no. Unless you know that that one drink or one sweet will turn into a binge, it's fine to be decadent occasionally.
To keep from going overboard, take tiny samples of everything on a buffet, split a dessert with a friend, and pour only half a glass at a time. The best strategy is to know your limits and stick to them. If you slip up, forgive yourself, and start anew.
7. Lie fallow.
This is rest time in the natural world. Deciduous trees take a break from photosynthesis, and newly planted bulbs slowly send down roots to support future blooms.
* How can you mirror the natural cycle in your own life?
* How do you find stillness?
Especially if you have a whirl of social activities on tap for December, allow plenty of down time to recharge. How about taking a long winter's nap, curling up with a good book, gazing into a roaring fire, or meditating? Couch time, quiet time, and vacation time can be wonderfully restoring.
Here's to a happy, balanced holiday!
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About the author:
Grace Durfee is a Professional Certified Coach, trainer, writer and speaker who helps busy professionals, small business owners and career changers achieve success while enjoying more balanced lives. She is the author of Balance with Grace: Celebrate the Kaleidoscope of Life (December 2007). To learn more and read her blog visit http://www.balancewithgrace.com
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