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Saturday, September 29, 2007
In This Issue
Editor’s Scribbles
Modern Living
Reduce Stress - Shed Your "Shoulds"
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Home & Around
Free Home Decorating Ideas - 5 Ways to Transform Your Home for Free
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Living with a Should Monster? A Should Monster is that critical nagging voice that repeatedly tells you that you should be doing a better job as a caregiver. It could be a replay of the voice of your spouse, relative, or friend, or it could be your own self-critic who’s creating merciless “should” lists for you.
See if these sound familiar:
“I should be a lot more patient.” “I should be able to manage by myself.” “I shouldn’t complain; other people have it worse.”
Such unrealistic and demanding “shoulds” pile on the stress. For example, the more you criticize yourself for not being patient enough, the more tense you’ll likely feel, making you less patient with others.
It might be comforting to realize that even Mother Theresa was known to be fairly testy with those around her, despite her great love and care for suffering people.
The next time you hear yourself saying, “I should,” ask yourself three questions:
1) Is it true?
Is it true that you “should” be able to manage by yourself? Pioneers in the Old West had to get by on their own because no one else was around for miles, but this lone ranger philosophy isn’t “true” today, and it can cost you your health.
Is it true you shouldn’t complain? “Whining” may not win friends, but pretending that you’re not hurting when the going gets rough may leave you feeling discouraged, lonely, and even depressed.
And though your pain is less than someone else’s, it still hurts. Telling someone in a straightforward way that you’re honestly struggling may open the way for receiving the kind of help people genuinely want to give.
2) How would my stress level change if I didn’t have that thought?
If you didn’t demand greater patience of yourself, for example, maybe you’d feel less pressure on yourself—and actually feel like being more patient.
3) Whose thought is it?
Does your “should” come directly from your merciless Should Monster? Say “No thank you” or “I don’t buy that” to your inner critic.
Is your “should” based on your own sincere beliefs? Then why not turn it from a should statement to a free choice by saying “I will” or “I’m willing” instead. For example, “I’ll do my best to be more patient (and my best is good enough!)” or “I’m willing to manage by myself.”
Then check again, and see if the new statement rings true and if it lowers your stress. If not, then make a new choice such as “I’m willing to have help and I’ll ask around until I get it.”
By taking charge of your thoughts, you can stop feeling pushed by your Should Monster and instead become inspired by goals that reflect your own free choice.
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About the author:
Pat Samples is the author of Daily Comforts for Caregivers and Self-Care for Caregivers and an international speaker who helps family caregivers find peace of mind. Learn more at http://www.agingandcaregiving.com.
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Home & Around
Free Home Decorating Ideas - 5 Ways to Transform Your Home for Free
by Renate Hering-Shepherd
It’s cool to be frugal. Not only does it save you money; it also tickles your creative talents and adds fun and a unique flair to your home. Here are some free home decorating ideas to get you started – you’ll be on a roll before you know it.
Free Home Decorating Idea #1 Mix, don’t match. Gone are the days of the three-piece suite and the co-ordinated cushions and curtains. It’s much more interesting to use what’s already there in your home and combine it in new, unexpected ways.
Try an old-fashioned embroidered cushion on a simple modern chair. Or fill plain milk bottles with sweets in colorful wrappers and use them instead of flower vases.
Take things and play them off against each other: serious and witty, dark and light, old and new, shiny and matte, antique and modern, sleek and rustic, finished and frayed. Take your time and experiment until things ‘click’; at some point it will look just right.
Free Home Decorating Idea #2 Pick some flowers. If there aren’t any in bloom, pick foliage and grasses instead. Make a green bouquet from the side of the road! If there isn’t any greenery, or the picking of it is strictly verboten, you could find some nice looking pebbles (or shells and driftwood from the beach) and arrange them into a still life or in tall glass vessels.
Free Home Decorating Idea #3 Decorate with food. Fruit makes wonderful displays (and you can still have the health benefits!). Apples and bananas, or oranges and lemons in a bowl look great and provide a boost of visual ‘sunshine’. Fruit preserves in glass containers make gorgeous decorating accents, too (and jellies look great against the light)!
Free Home Decorating Idea #4 Recycle. Take a small purse or bag that you’re not using any more, fill it with little pebbles and turn it into a doorstop. Cover tin cans in fabric or giftwrap and give them a new job in the storage department.
Or turn simple drinking glasses into candleholders by filling them halfway up with sand - stick inexpensive white household candles into the sand, and line them up on a windowsill or mantelpiece or cluster them together on the table. The more, the merrier (well, okay, within reason!).
Free Home Decorating Idea #5 Make your own art. Some of those Picassos are so hard to live with! So why not arrange your own treasures in box frames: an antique mocha cup, a small heirloom, a letter from your great-grandmother to your great-grandfather.
Make a background from old fabric or crumpled tissue paper. Add scrapbook-style hand-written tags, photos, and other nice things from your hidden treasure troves. The advantage of a shadowbox over a scrapbook is that you can really utilize the 3D to full effect, and you get to see your prized possessions every day!
There you are … once you start getting creative with what’s already in your home, you’ll find that you come up with more and more free home decorating ideas of your own. You can definitely have a gorgeous, stylish home on a shoestring!
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About the author:
Renate Hering-Shepherd is a London-based designer and the owner of DreamHomeDecorating.com, a website full of ideas and information about creating a home you love, no matter where you happen to live. Visit the site for some more inspiration on frugal home decorating!
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